Scissors Paper Stone
by Happy Snow
Summary: Kise is not beneath cheating if it achieves his goals, although strictly speaking, he doesn't think this really counts as cheating.


_Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroko no Basket. I got the idea that Kise got (just the first one) from Percy Jackson and the Battle of Labyrinth when Percy "fought" Briareos. Honestly, if I was Briareos, I'd just tell Percy "Okay, you beat one of my hands but what about all the rest?"_

 _Note: This is for Kiaka week under the prompt Handcuffed Together. Warning - this fic barely even fits the prompt at all, it's just one small portion that includes the prompt but the idea was stuck in my head so I couldn't bring myself to finish the other one that actually fits the prompt more... I might eventually but for now, please enjoy this!_

Kise has been caught. Honestly though, it wasn't that bad a thing considering that he hadn't expected that he would last that long without being caught. He had lasted two months instead of the two weeks that he expected. Perhaps Akashicchi hasn't regained his touch after losing, even though it has been over nine months now. Or perhaps his acting (a.k.a lying) skills have improved tremendously. Maybe it was both. Either way, he had never expected to have been allowed to, quoting Akashicchi, "waste time travelling to Kyoto on the pretense of having to do a short film in Kyoto" for so long.

Now that he's been caught though, Akashicchi is nagging at him about how this is going to affect his studies (again) and that he was not allowed to return to Kyoto without proper reasons during a school terms because "for heaven's sake, are you not doing badly enough for your standard". Personally, Kise didn't agree that it was a waste of time. He had managed to hold more proper conversation with Akashicchi in these two months than he had ever done in Teiko. He had been trying to force himself into Akashicchi's life by popping into Kyoto weekly and dragging Akashicchi around to have fun. Akashicchi seriously didn't even have much to complain about since at least half the time is always Akashicchi dragging him to study anyway and Kise's grades has honestly been better than two months ago instead of worst. But his true goal had been to drag Akashicchi to one of the get-together's because Akashicchi is not allowed to take the blame of what happened at Teiko all to himself and use that as an excuse to distant himself from them. Kise is not allowing that and since he hasn't achieved that, Kise cannot go home now yet...

"Kise Ryouta, are you even listening?" Akashi sighed, as he observed Kise's attention slip away. "Is this how you pay attention in class?" Akashi asked annoyed as he snapped his fingers in front Kise's eyes. "Oi!"

"Ah… Akashichi, I have an idea!" Kise proclaimed, basically ignoring all of Akashi's previous statements. Akashi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Kise's declaration. He doesn't quite trust Kise's ideas to be completely honest and he highly doubt anyone should trust them to be honest. "You'll come with me to the fair I wanted to go to today if…" Kise took a deep breath, pausing dramatically as Akashi rolled his eyes at Kise's antics, "I beat you at scissors paper stone!"

Akashi broke into a relieved smile, all the tension resolving. "That's it?" he asked smirking. "All right. Scissors…" Kise panicked. Shit, he hasn't thought this through yet. How was he going to win? He had to win because his mission was not complete but Akashicchi was so good at predicting! Akashicchi probably already knew what he was going to put at this point and he himself doesn't even know! "Paper…" Ah… what would Akashicchi put. No, that was the wrong train of thoughts. What would Kise put? He had to do something Kise wouldn't do. He doesn't know what he would put, how was he supposed to know what he wasn't going to put? Kise wanted to whine for more time and he might if he didn't already know that Akashicchi was the last person on this surface of this earth to succumb to whining. "Stone!"

Akashi stared at the hand in front of him, his eyebrows knitted in confusion. Kise had his thumb and second finger sticking out, in the position of a gun which was clearly neither scissors, paper nor stone. "Is that supposed to be a twisted sort of scissors or…" Akashi started slowly, clearly not comprehending while Kise laughed evilly (or as evilly as he could manage while he was feeling so happy he finally got it figured out).

"Its gun, Akashicchi. Gun beats everything," he said happily, throwing out a victory sign just for the added effect.

Akashi glared at him. "That is absurd. You can't have something that beats everything. That defeats the purpose of a game. That's like if I had a shogi piece that I am allowed to sweep across the board to wipe out all the enemies. It just doesn't work that way."

"It works," Kise insisted. "I'll even give you a real life example. See, the birds eat the seeds, the snake eats the bird and the eagle eats the snake but the tiger can eat them all if it wanted."

"No," Akashi responded just as quickly. "Scissors paper stone is a cycle game. By your analogy, that means that the seeds must eat the snake and do tell how could the seed possibly do that? You're merely spitting out your elementary school science textbook food chain example at me."

"Akashicchi," Kise whined, despite knowing that it was not going to work. "It works, it works! The seeds are poisonous so they kill the snake even if it doesn't eat the snake."

"And the bird doesn't get poisoned?"

"The bird's immune to that poison?"

"How about the tiger then?"

"He's immune too."

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"It so does!"

"I am not doing that." Akashi sighed. "Fine, we accept your terribly flawed logic of gun beats everything but only if we play again because I was… apparently not fully aware of all the rules of the game."

"But Akashicchi, it's not a rule, it's a trick."

"Aha! So it's against the rule then."

"No! No… it's just… eh… you know, um… like chess! There are things not explicitly stated in the rule but they are in the trick books. They're not against the rule, they're just special method. The gun is like the scissors paper stone method of the shuang pao in Chinese chess!"

"The gun is an entirely different hand sign, I don't think it is anything like the shuang pao. You don't bring in an extra new piece of chess for the shuang pao like you do for the gun."

"Different games, different style!"

"Are we going to rematch or are we going to take it that you're cheating?"

"… Rematch," Kise said with a sigh. Akashicchi was awfully stubborn but that just means that Kise would have to be even more stubborn. And think of something else quickly. He highly doubt he could just throw in a bomb gesture and claim that it beat the gun. Akashicchi would really murder him then.

"Scissors paper stone!" They both cried and expectedly, they both made the gun sign.

"Well," Akashi begin. "It's a draw, so you didn't beat me and I am going home. You should too and do get some actual work done instead of…"

"Wait!" Kise cried, a grin starting to spread on his cheeks. Akashi eyed Kise suspiciously once again. Kise looked too delighted for Akashi to feel safe and Akashi was sorely tempted to just turn around and walk away before he let Kise open his mouth and spew another of his horribly flawed logic. It might actually be killing his brain cell. Perhaps that's why Akashi didn't move as Kise went on. "It's not a draw." Kise grabs Akashi's wrist and pulls Akashi's hand next to his. "The bigger gun wins."

To be fair, both of them was surprised that Akashi did not just stand up and leave straight away. Akashi turned his coldest gaze on Kise to which Kise yelped and released Akashi's wrist, backing away for safety measures.

"Please, Akashicchi?" Kise says hopefully. "I-really-want-to-go-and-it's-a-waste-of-time-to-travel-back-and-forth. At-least-if-I-went-to-the-fair-I-would-have-enjoyed-myself."

Akashi's gaze didn't falter for a painfully long 5 seconds before it, to Kise's disbelief, softens and he sighs, yet again. "Just this time," he says firmly.

…

"Akashicchi, please…" Kise implored. "I really, really like three-legged race."

"No."

"But…"

"They use handcuffs to tie people's legs together, Kise. Handcuffs. I don't think it's safe."

"That's the thrill of it!"

"… No."

"Akashicchi, if we play scissor paper stone and I win, can we play the three-legged race."

"Only if the bigger hand doesn't win just because it's bigger."

"It doesn't, I promise!"

"… Scissors paper,"

"Stone!"

"…" Kise had held up two hands this time, clasped together in the gun sign.

"It's not because it's bigger this time. This one has a bigger bullet, you see, and the bigger bullet wins," Kise declared, all too happily.

"May we test that theory?"

"Test? How?"

"I'll shoot two bullets through your head, one smaller and one bigger. Would you kindly tell me which one is more painful?"

"Akashicchi, mean!"

"Can we go find something that doesn't involve me being handcuffed to you now?"

"No."

"Kise."

"Akashicchi, that wasn't even against the rule! I didn't win because I had bigger hands. It was because I had two."

"Are you implying that I only have one hand?"

"No, I am stating that you only used one hand."

"Guns aren't even part of the actual game."

"You used it."

"I'm leaving."

"No, wait! Akashicchi, I promise I won't keep coming to Kyoto with no good reason if we play in the three-legged race."

"… We're only going for it once."

"Yes!" Kise exclaimed happily, throwing his arms around Akashi. "Akashicchi, you're the best!"

They won the race. Three times. This was despite the fact that Akashi practically had to leap throughout the race with handcuffs around his ankles in order to keep up with Kise's long limbs. And the fact that he had only agreed to go for it once too, of course. He felt ridiculous and he probably looked ridiculous throughout the whole time and he was never going anywhere with Kise ever again.

…

"Akashicchi."

"Hmm?"

"I'm really happy you came today."

"… I didn't exactly have a choice."

"Of course, Akashicchi."

…

Akashi glared at the overly tall, overly friendly, overly happy person in front of him in disbelief. "You said that…"

"I know what I said, Akashicchi, but I have a good reason this time."

"Mmhmm. Do tell, what is it?"

"Well… I have to do a short film in Kyoto."

"Kise Ryouta, you…! You could've at least came up with a new excuse! It's been only two weeks, did you really think I would forget?"

"I'm not lying this time, Akashicchi, I even brought proof!" Kise claimed, digging his bag to pull out a file of papers. "Look at the contract," he said, waving the file at Akashi.

"… I might have believed you the first time but I am well aware that the contract can easily be faked."

"They can?"

"Don't lie to me, Kise. You've been in the model industry for long enough to know that they can."

"They can be faked but they're not fakes, Akashicchi, I swear!"

"And I take your word for it." Sarcasm was dripping in his tone.

"Look, Akashicchi, lend me your phone, I'll show you."

"My phone?" Without waiting for a reply, Kise had already taken Akashi's phone and opened up his search engine. Within seconds, he had the phone back in Akashi's hand.

"There."

"… That's not a short film. That's a really big film."

"I know, Akashicchi. It's just that short film was the exact words I used last time and I needed you to think I am lying so that I could prove you wrong, you see."

"You're intolerable."

"Let's go to an arcade this time, Akashicchi!"


End file.
